cut throat

May 6th, 2005

This morning, at about 10am, me and 2 colleagues were strolling through the city centre of Pretoria on our way to see a client. A peaceful autumn breeze was in the air, sending golden leaves flying in all directions. The sun was shining, birds were chirping all around and people were happily going about their business. For a moment we were proud to be part of the human race, such an intelligent and peaceful life form, then we slipped back into reality. Suddenly we came upon a situation that was not entirely normal. In the distance, across the road, 4 guys were arguing very loudly! The funny thing however, was that one of them was our client, whom we were supposed to meet in about 10 minutes.

We quickly got over to the scene and were shocked to find a 5th guy, sitting on the pavement, covered in a stream of blood flowing from his neck! Our client, quickly managed to explain to us that he saw these two guys speed up to the sidewalk, jump out of their vehicle and run to a guy by the side of the road, we’™ll cal him Bob. They started arguing and one of the guys from the car, lets call them the “œvillains”, tried to punch Bob. However, Bob was a stocky guy with a huge black mustache, who’™s been living on a strict diet of “œmuscle fuel” for the past 5 years! He quickly dodged the punch and threw back a sucker punch, instantly knocking his opponent to the ground. The villain stumbled back to his feet in a daze, and actually tried to punch Bob again. As expected, he was instantly sent back to eat some more dirt. Now I don’t know if it’s just me, but if this happened to me, I would get up, apologise humbly, and get the hell out of there. Apparently some people don’t think like this, because the villain thought it would be a better idea to get up, pick up a beer bottle, break it on the sidewalk and stab Bob in the throat.

After inspecting their handiwork, the villains turned around and casually started walking back to their car. This is where our client came onto the scene. Having seen all this happen, he ran over and told the villains to wait right there while he called the police. Obviously they didn’t listen and continued towards their car. Suddenly another guy, we’™ll call him Arnold, jumped out from behind a tree. He also saw the whole thing and stepped in front of the 2 guys with a fully load pistol.

This was enough to make the villains stop in their tracks. Eventually the cops and an ambulance pitched up to alleviate Arnold from his duties. They arrested the “œbeer bottle warrior” and Bob was taken to the hospital. It turned out that this was a situation of road rage, which got a little bit out of hand.

Afterwards I was a amazed at the way humans could react to an every day occurrence like being cut off on a quiet city street at 10am in the morning. The bottom line is, if I cheese somebody off on the road, and they get out of their car to “talk” to me, I’™m gonna step on the gas and get the hell out of there.