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July 17th, 2005

For the last 2 weeks my efficiency as a human being has withered away. This is due to the fact that I’ve once again hopelessly succumbed to one of my addictions. Like all addictions, this one is extremely difficult to get rid of, if not impossible. The best way to handle it is to succumb to the addiction and wait it out until it goes away by itself. Luckily this addiction can only affect its victims each year during 3 weeks in July. If this was not the case, me and the millions of addicts around the world possibly would have faced a life of sleep, work, TV, sleep… This addiction goes by the name of the Tour de France and it is brought to millions of helpless addicts every day for three weeks in dosages of at least 4 hours per day! Who could possibly kick a habit when it is legally served up on a plate, live to our living rooms every day!

Here are 10 reasons why I love watching the Tour de France.

1. It’s the most physically draining event on the sporting calendar every year, and South Africa is one of only 9 countries in the world where you can see every second of the race live on TV.
2. If anybody asks me to do something remotely related to “domestic chores”, I have the right to refuse… I’m watching the Tour dammit, and it requires my undivided attention. (Yes, even if my eyes are closed when requested to do the “chore”)
3. The live broadcast is repeated every night so that we don’t have to miss anything due to insignificant obligations like work.
4. It’s addictive. It’s starts when you come home one day and quickly turn on the TV just to see what happened in the Tour that day. Before you know it you’re nailed to the TV every night for 2 hours “just to see who won that day”.
5. You’re practically traveling and watching the TV at the same time. The Tour passes through some of the most scenic parts of France.
6. It’s Lance Armstrong’s last Tour de France and he’s attempting to win it for a record breaking 7th time in a row…
7. … and if he keeps on kicking ass like he’s been doing for the last 2 weeks he is going to win it for a 7th time.
8. Say what you want, deep down inside of everybody there’s a part of you that enjoys seeing those crashes, just a little.
9. I’m a cyclist myself, a very, very amateurish one, but a cyclist nonetheless.
10. I get to see something impossible being done live on TV. Let’s face it, it is impossible to cycle an average distance of 200km per day for 3 weeks up the slopes of some of the steepest mountains in the world.